It's been a long time since the last time I had blogged. Sorry for a long hiatus. Real long hiatus.
Anyway, Christmas is coming soon and I love Christmas!!! It is the best season for the year in my opinion. Christmas celebrations never cease to amuse me. Every year, I cherish every moment of Christmas celebrations whether it's from tv, radio, computer or others, it's just different when you celebrate Christmas.

I would like to dedicate the rest of this post to my love, Xiying. Never would I expect that both of us will get into relationship, I mean this far. Therefore, I'm really extremely both grateful as well as surprised when she accepted me. Thank God for making this happened and this proved to be a miracle for me!! After months of struggling with the feelings I had towards her, it's been quite a journey. It's been an adventure of a lifetime in which I began to feel the darkest, deepest and lowest level of my life as I'm in a long battle of attrition in pursuing and winning her heart. Tears and toils taking their toll me even as I'm in this situation, the first time of my life. I began to question my own wisdom and sincerity in choosing to continue to pursue her even though it seemed to be a fruitless endeavor. Question after question continue to haunt my own mind, debating the necessity of the choice I made.

However, bigger part of this adventure does not necessarily limit itself in pursuing and winning her heart and her affections. It includes my own search, rediscovering and even preserving the identity that I can only find in God. Most of the time, the core of the challenge is whether I do have what it takes to do it. But even before you can answer this core question, another preceding code that needed to be deciphered and had to be fully applied is ''who you are''- who do you believe you are, where does your desire takes you, to whom you can fully lean on for your desire and finally, what can you do about it. The code itself is simple yet complicated as it unfolds to several complicated questions that requires more than books or experiences that can fully prepare yourself to be able to answer all of them. Learning to surrender to God and learning to let God take care can be very different things together.

I must admit that only God alone can make it happen through His works and sown seeds in my endeavor. He really uses her to change a lot of things in my life and especially, my own character. Character after all, the core essence of one's heart and soul, causal-effect of one's actions, color of ones life. A beautiful character captivates, a strong character makes odds capitulate, a stunning character captures, a wise character considers and a caring character concerns. Sounds easy but it takes journey of lifetime to cultivate such character and only the Creator with His creativity can know ''what,who,what,when and how to'' technicalities to paint such character. Vulnerabilities after all builds resilience. You don't lie when you want to deny such thing happening in front of you and you don't bluff when you justifying yourself. I made a lot of mistakes and errors in that track. I even struggles with grace and mercy and salvation. But God is my whispering hope.

I thank God for having that privilege and knowing her and I believed in His timing, when it comes, it comes. It is a blessing to be not only her friend but to be her lover as well. Thank God for making our love alive and living. He is the lifeline that fuels our romance. He is the living essence that takes presence in us. Thank God for making a ''stoner'' to be a ''stunner'', a dumb to be dandy( not about appearance, LOL). The captured moment that characterizes my life and the new chapter that will be part of my charter.

Oh, by the way, I don't normally do well at writing poetries and song, God uses her to awake my desire and delight in beauty of everything.

So, friends,readers, travelers, strangers alike, I write this in a simplest (maybe not) and sincerest (definitely) I can as my heart poured on. No worries, it's not an emo post but a exhilarating one.

What a wonderful world!!